It’s a question which comes up fairly regularly when talking with non-kinky folk. “Why do you like being hurt?”, “Doesn’t that hurt?”, “But how can pain be sexy?”
People can engage in consensual pain play for a lot of reasons, I can’t assume to speak for everyone, but I can explain why I do it. Under it all, there are essentially 3 reasons that I engage in pain play, and each reason goes with a different type of play.
Cos it’s horny
There’s some pain that just makes me horny. Though, in this case, describing it as pain doesn’t feel quite right. It’s more like intense sensations. For some people, having their nipples gently squeezed turns them on. They get off on that sensation. I get off on the same sensation. I just prefer the sensation to be stronger. It gets me wet. It gets me closer to orgasm, and makes my orgasms more powerful if the pain is inflicted at that point. The level of pain I can tolerate, and desire during this type of play increases the more turned on I get.
Cos it’s a feeling of achievement
This is the sort of pain that HURTS. Hard, cold canings, singletail whips, thigh slapping and caning, and hand tawsing all come under this heading. The pleasure in these types of pain is knowing I’ve endured it, that I’ve soaked it up and processed it. This sort of pain starts painful, and stays painful the whole time. There’s no gentle warmup, no sexual stimulation to help me process. I’ve not let it overcome me. This sort of pain leaves me feeling strong, capable. Like I could take on anything. If I can deal with that pain, then I can deal with anything that the world throws at me.
Cos it takes me to altered states of conciousness.
This sort of pain is somewhere in between the two above. It’s canings that start just within my limits, and build up. It’s 106 strokes and me begging for more. It’s The Boss having to stop before I want him to because he’s beginning to draw blood. It’s that place where there’s nothing. There’s just me, in the darkness, lines of pain cutting through, and lighting it up. It’s being entirely in my body, but at the same time being entirely separate from it. It’s floating afterwards, sure that everything is right with the world.