I imagine I’m not the only switch who gets a little fed up with the question “so which do you prefer to be, dom or sub?” To me the implications of that feels similar to the assumption that bisexual folks just haven’t “picked a side” yet, that you can’t have an equal desire for both.
The question also makes me pick between two lables that on the whole, I don’t identify that much with. I am submissive to The Boss….. but to anyone else? nope, just not gonna happen. And I don’t really see myself as dominant either. Maybe I will find “the one” who brings that side of me out, like The Boss brings my submissive side out, but who knows. There are many other lables I do identify with much better : top, bottom, sadist, masochist, girl, Girl, Mummy. There are more, but that’s a good start! But I’m very rarely top and bottom, or sadist and masochist with the same person (the only exception I’ve found to this so far is my lovely R – we just seem to inspire a level of mutual violence in each other), and which I will be on a particular occasion really depends on who I’m with.
Most people inspire either my top side or my bottom side, and that will be how I interact with that person. I’d never dream of being Top to The Boss, but that doesn’t mean that I prefer being bottom, it just means that in my interactions with him, that’s what I’ll be.
I’m a switch, that means that I like both. It doesn’t mean that my submission means any less, or that I’m not to be taken seriously as a top. It doesn’t mean I’m indecisive either. Maybe some people call them selves switches as they are going through a phase of trying things out, figuring what works for them, but that’s not me. I have tried both sides and I love both sides. I have come to the concious realisation that switch is what I am, and to call myself anything else wouldn’t be right.