First of I’d like to say a big thank you to everyone who de-lurked on LOL day, it’s always lovely to hear from you!!!
I’ve been keeping very busy recently with lots of spanking sessions and shoots, which is great fun, but I’ve had something on my mind a lot, and wanted to write about it.
When I was with The Boss, I was always submissive to him, but I have been growing and changing a lot over the past few years we’ve known each other. When we met, I was going through some really rough times. There had been several deaths of family and family friends, over the course of a couple of months, and not long after that, the fall out of my first live-in dom’s suicide. I was unemployed and living in a place I hated, with no friends nearby. So yeah, I wasn’t at my best. But The Boss never pushed me or took advantage of my situation.
Instead, he encouraged me to explore the things I wanted to. Gave me confidence when I didn’t trust the choices I was making. Was there as a shoulder to cry on when life got too scary!
But since we have split, I am coming to the realisation that (at least for the moment) I am not as submissive as maybe I’ve always thought I was. I’ve always known that a big part of my make-up is looking after people, nurturing them and caring for them, and helping them to realise their potential. And it feels like now, this is taking a more dominant slant. I’m also discovering new depths to turn ons i’ve explored a little of in the past.
I feel like I’m waking up to a whole new world of possibilities these days, so many new things to try!! I’m feeling more comfortable and confident in who I am. But don’t panic – I don’t think there’s any chance that my masochistic side is going to be disappearing any time soon!